Pronouns - What's Up With Them?

A lot of people I know have questions about pronouns and how to use them. Okay, maybe not he, she, and it, but some of the more obscure pronouns can seem confusing. Most pronouns are either masculine or feminine. The male pronouns in English are He/Him/His/His/Himself. The female ones are She/Her/Her/Hers/Herself. And that all seems fine, but there's a problem. There are plenty of people who don't identify as male or female. Are there pronouns for those people? Absolutely! They're called gender neutral pronouns. There are many different sets of gender neutral pronouns, but here are the ones I prefer to use.

Ze/Hir/Hir/Hirs/Hirself : These are the pronouns I prefer to use. Ze, pronounced "zee", and Hir, pronounced "here", are two of the most common gender neutral pronouns. NOTE: There are a few different ways to spell "ze", but this is the spelling I use. Example: Ze is going to the movies tonight. That is hir ticket. Ze likes hirself.

There are a lot more gender neutral pronouns than that. It can be a little difficult to keep track of them, so I'll list a few more sets.

Xe/Xem/Xyr/Xyrs/Xemself
E/Em/Eir/Eirs/Emself
Ve/Ver/Vis/Vis/Virself
Yo/Yon/Yos/Yos/Yoself
Ne/Nem/Nir/Nirs/Nemself
They/Them/Their/Theirs/Theirself

WARNING: "It" is a gender neutral pronoun. That does not mean that you can call someone who is gender non-binary an "it". It's dehumanizing and just plain rude. How would you like to be called an "it"? DON'T DO IT!!!!

What's the importance of pronouns? Well, they shape our reality. And I don't mean that the pronouns you use can change the laws of physics, but they do determine the world we live in. Whether you use male, female, or gender neutral pronouns determines the kinds of interactions you have with the rest of society. Pronouns are an important part of our identity, even if we don't realize it. And because it's so important, they should be respected. If someone tells you that they are gender non-binary (gender fluid, third gender, agender, etc.), you should ask what their preferred pronouns are. It's better to get that out of the way in the beginning than to call someone by the wrong pronouns. As I said before, "it" is not an acceptable pronoun. Also, "he/she" is really rude. That is a derogatory term, so don't ever use it. Overall, just be respectful of each other. People should be able to use whatever pronouns they want.

Please, feel free to post questions in the comments below. I will answer questions in future posts, so ask away!

Best Wishes,
Nick

P.S. Here's one of my favorite spoken-word poems. It's all about being transgender and using pronouns. It's titled "Hir".

Welcome to Real Queer Life

So, you're here. Welcome! At this point, you're probably either a friend of mine who noticed I started a blog about my life, or you're someone who just Googled "queer" to find people to bash a bit before you said your prayers and went to bed. There will be no hate here; so if you're here to be mean, you won't be welcome. Now that that's out of the way, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Nick and I'm 16 years old. I live in New York, U.S.A. I'm a musician, an athlete, and a member of a robotics team. My favorite color is purple and I have an unhealthy obsession with "Doctor Who". Alright, now it's time for everyone to really get to know me. Yes, I'm queer, and in more ways than you might think. For starters, I'm gender queer. Or, as I prefer to call it, gender fluid. This means that I can identify as male, female, both, neither, or any combination depending on how I feel. On that note, I should tell you about my preferred pronouns. I don't use these pronouns in public, but I would like people who read this blog to use "ze" and "hir" when addressing me (more on gender-neutral pronouns and how to use them in a later post). I'm also queer when it comes to my sexual orientation. Since terms like "gay" and "straight" are targeted for people who fit the gender binary (identify as male or female), I don't quite fit either of those terms. So, I identify as queer because it covers anything that isn't heterosexual. Finally, I'm queer because I''m just... different. I'm just a wacky person who's really awkward and absolutely loves people. I've got my pet peeves and quirks that even I don't understand, like a hatred for bad grammar. But I'm also human, plain and simple. I love, I laugh, I cry. You'll see all of those and more as I keep posting.

Love,
Nick

P.S. Comment on this post with any questions you have! I'll try to answer them in my next post.