Gender is a Universe

"While squatting down to take a piss in a bathroom stall, I read, 'Gender is a universe and we are all stars scribbled on the wall'," is the opening line for Lacey Roop's poem "Gender is a Universe" (link below). And while I don't usually approve of looking to bathroom stalls for wisdom, I think I can make an exception here. Gender is such a broad term, and we all fall inside of it in different places. Each person has their own variation on their gender identity. That's what makes us all unique. But, society does try to dictate what "male" and "female" means and tends to exclude gender non-binary people. Society's rules are what create gender in the first place. Gender is the social expectations, roles, and behavior associated with a specific sex.

The other day, I was asked about what being gender fluid really means. For me, it means that my gender identity changes constantly, that I'm not confined to any set of gender roles or stereotypes. That my behavior can change, but it's just part of being me. I'm not confused and I'm not "just a tomboy". That's how I see my gender identity, but others may use the same title and have a completely different experience with their gender.

Someone also commented that everyone is a little gender fluid. I have to agree. I don't know anyone who truly fits society's description of "male" and "female". Those gender roles and expectations are too limiting for most people to abide by. This is very similar to the "everyone's a little bit gay" idea. And while there is so much variation in how gender is perceived, there is also a lot of flexibility in how gender labels are used. There are many feminine males and just as many masculine females, but that doesn't necessarily change their gender identity. Just remember to be respectful of the gender people prefer to identify with. Just because someone follows some expectations and roles of a specific gender doesn't mean that they identify as such. Remember, be courteous and don't be afraid to ask about preferred pronouns.

Lots of Love,
Nick

Gender is a Universe: