A lot of people don't even know what being aromantic is. Because of that, when people say that they're aromantic they tend to get a lot of negative and ignorant comments simply because the people they told are ill-educated on the matter. So, at the request of a dear friend, here's the shit people say to aromantics.
"That's the same as asexual.": Not true at all! Asexual means you're not sexually attracted to anyone. Aromantic means that you're not romantically attracted to anyone. Sex does not mean romance and vice versa.
"You just haven't found the right person yet.": It's not a matter of finding the right person. That's like saying to a straight person that they just haven't found the right person to make them gay. You're brushing aside how they're feeling and implying that their feelings are invalid.
"You're a late bloomer.": Nope! Wrong again! There are plenty of aromantic people in all age groups. It's not a "young person" thing. Love, or lack thereof, isn't an age-related phenomenon.
"You'll grow out of it.": Once again, it's not age-related. Aromanticism isn't a phase. It's how people identify. If you say that it's just a phase, then you're telling the person that their opinion doesn't matter because it doesn't match up with what you want it to be.
"But no one wants to die alone!": Maybe you're right. However, that doesn't mean that everyone needs to have a romantic partner. I, for instance, am currently convinced that I'll end up being a crazy cat person with no romantic partner, even though I'm not aromantic. And just because someone's aromantic doesn't mean that they can't have a strong emotional bond with someone. Many aromantics have life partners; they just don't have a romantic attraction to that person. The true definition of "best friends for life".
"That sounds horrible! How do you live like that?": Umm... By eating, sleeping, and breathing? It seems really hard for whoever's asking this question to imagine being aromantic because they've experienced romantic attractions to other people. Not only is that part of who they are, but they are also surrounded by the idea that people are meant to find their "true love". However, some people just don't fit into that box, and that's okay.
That's all I have for aromantics right now. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments section below and I'll get to them as soon as I can. And I want to thank one of my dear friends for this topic suggestion! If you have any personal questions, feel free to contact me at realqueerlife@gmail.com.
Lots of love,
Nick
My word you're annoying. I know this won't affect anything you ever think, but I figure I'll throw this out here. I don't think any of what you're saying is wrong or terrible, so don't give me that rant. You are incredibly condescending and obnoxious. I think you have a lot of valid points, but the way you put them is so frustrating that you instantly invalidate any points that you may have.
ReplyDeletePlease be nice, Anonymous. Disagree or offer suggestions politely. I love my dear friend and ask that you respect this work.
ReplyDelete