Relationships: Trans* Edition

Dating is difficult. I don't care who's in the relationship, how many people are involved, or where you live. But for some people, dating is made even more difficult. People who are trans* tend to have a more difficult time while dating because of preconceived notions that their partners may have. Here are some of the DO's and DON'T's of dating a trans* person.

DO respect boundaries: Everyone has limits on what they're willing to do. Trans* people are no exception. Respecting boundaries is a necessary part of any relationship.

DON'T make inappropriate comments about your partner's body: People are sensitive about their body, some more so than others. However, people who are transgender may have different aspects that they're sensitive about. Comments about hormone use or surgery (if used) are not appropriate. Check out the video at the bottom for a poem about trans* bodies and relationships.

DO show lots of support for your partner: Relationships are all about love, trust, and support. Be there for your partner, no matter what happens. Come rain, snow, or transition surgery, your partner needs your love and care.

DON'T rely on prejudices: There are a lot of misconceptions about the trans* community. Ideas like "Trans* people are sex workers" and "Trans* people aren't real men/women." It's really bad to go into a relationship with these prejudices in mind. They're unhealthy and can ruin relationships. Keeping an open mind is the key to fostering a healthy relationship.

These guidelines are important in any relationship, but they may need to be tailored to fit a relationship where one or more partners are transgender. Just remember that people just want to love and be loved. Feel free to post any questions in the comments. I'll try my best to answer them.

Lots of love,
Nick

How to Make Love to a Trans* Person by Gabe Moses