Transgender - We're Not Confused

People have a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be transgender. Because of this, they tend to ask rude and inconsiderate questions or say things which are offensive. Some people ask questions and say things because they're mean, others because they just don't know how offensive it is. Let's take a look at a few of those questions/ statements:

"What's your real name? You know, your birth name?": This is meant to destroy the validity of someone's gender identity. I know some of you are just curious, but there's a reason why people who are trans* tend to change their names. They don't identify with the name given to them by their parents, and they don't want it to be part of their story. They want you to know them as they are now, not as they used to be.

"It's just a phase, you'll get over it.": Umm... We're not dying our hair or getting piercings here. Being transgender may (but not always) constitute surgery and hormone treatments. Yes, those are permanent, so you can bet that anyone who is suggesting that is pretty serious. And it's not growing pains either. You don't "grow into your gender".

Anything that has to do with genitals: Why do you care? Their mine, not yours! I don't ask you about your sex organs, so don't ask me about mine. That's just nosy.

"You're not really a girl/boy because you haven't had surgery/hormone treatment": You don't have to have specific genitals to be male or female. And your hormones certainly have nothing to do with it. And for some people, there aren't any hormone therapies or surgeries that match their gender identity (I'm looking at you, gender fluid and third gender people). Gender is a self-identity. It has nothing to do with DNA or hormones or how you dress. It's about how people feel and see themselves. You have no right to deem what someone else's gender is simply because they don't meet your requirements.

"It's not on your birth certificate/passport/other legal document so I can address you as a boy/girl even though you want me to address you as a girl/boy": Okay, if  you're saying this, you're a real jerk. Since when do documents define who we are. Documents can be changed, lost, and completely remade. Why does a little piece of paper determine who I am?

Just remember, always be kind and considerate. You never know who's listening.

Please, feel free to post questions in the comments section below. I love responding to you guys.

Love,
Nick