Bisexuals get a lot more than they bargained for when they come out. Instead of accepting bisexuals, a lot of people try to claim that bisexuality doesn't exist. In light of that, here's some of the shit that people say to bisexuals.
"You're gay, you just don't want to fully come out of the closet yet.": Yeah, I'm pretty sure that coming out as bi constitutes coming out of the closet. If you're not straight, you don't automatically become gay. There's a lot of grey area in between the two extremes.
"You're just confused.": Sexual attraction tends to be pretty clear cut. I don't think someone can really be confused by which gender they're attracted to. Bisexuals just happen to like more than one gender. Liking more than one gender doesn't make you confused.
"You can't like more than one gender. You have to pick one.": Let me set up an example for you. I like apples and I like bananas. If I like eating apples, does that mean I can't like bananas anymore? I didn't think so. Same applies to sexual orientation. Just because someone likes one gender doesn't mean they can't be attracted to another too.
"So, you like threesomes?": Can we just stop this stereotype right here? If you think that, you're watching far too much porn and you need to meet some real bisexuals. I have yet to meet a bisexual in real life who is okay with climbing into bed with more than one person. Three's a crowd, if you ask me.
"Are you dating a boy and a girl at the same time? How do you do it?": They don't, generally. Just because bisexuals are attracted to two genders doesn't mean that they're dating both at the same time. That just seems like it would be really tiring all the time. Handling one partner is enough.
"Bisexuals cheat all the time.": Whoever says this has a lot to learn about human relationships. Just because someone likes more than one gender doesn't mean that they will cheat one their current partner with someone who is the opposite sex of the partner. That's just not how relationships work. I dated someone who once identified as bisexual. And you know what, he didn't cheat on me. Ever. Just some food for thought.
I hope you guys like what you read because this post is part of a series I'm writing. It's called "Shit People Say: A Series". There will be more posts like this in the future. If any of you have questions, comments, concerns, or topics you want me to cover, leave them in the comments section below this post.
The worst one I ever heard (that, embarrassingly enough, was said by my mother) was, "well, once you get married to someone of one gender, you aren't bisexual anymore. You chose."
ReplyDeleteJUST BECAUSE YOU'RE DATING SOMEONE OF X GENDER DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE TEMPORARILY STRAIGHT/GAY. YOU'RE STILL BISEXUAL DAMNIT.
That is so horrible! I'm so sorry she said that to you. Some people just don't understand.
DeleteI've had the same comment said to me. It's ridiculous.
DeleteI'm a bisexual woman. I've heard many times that I'm a cheater, I like everyone and that I like threesomes. The last one is usually men saying "so, you're bisexual and you have a boyfriend. lucky guy!" -.- no, I don't like threesomes, and neither does he, for that matter. my bisexuality doesn't make him any more or less lucky. One person heard that I'm bisexual and he actually said to me: "So you'd be a lesbian but you just can't live without cock." That one is the worst thing anyone has ever said to me about being a bisexual. If I had a girlfriend, that would mean I'd be living without cock, and I'd be fine with that. Then there's some people who don't take it seriously, they think I'm kissing girls to get guys and stuff like that. Most people identify as straight and bisexuals don't like every man and woman they see. So you'd think it's no surprise I've never had sex or a relationship with a woman. Usually people assume I have, because I'm bisexual. And then it comes as a surprise and they say: "So you like men more?" / "So you couldn't have sex or a relationship with a woman?" / "So you're not sure you like women anyway?" Yes, I like women! Just like you knew you liked girls/boys when you were a virgin and had never had a relationship! I wrote "girls/boys", because I've only heard mostly straight, but also some gay people say this. Never people who like more genders than one, they understand this better. And btw, it varies which ones I prefer, men or women. And I know this is common for bisexuals. Sometimes I like men more, sometimes I like women more. Never 100% for either. At the moment I'd say 55% men, 45% women. Few months ago it was about 85% women. :D And another thing: if I'm in a relationship, I'm always interested in them, no matter which one I prefer otherwise at the moment. And I don't cheat. I get attracted, like "oh, she's pretty", but not like "oh, she's pretty, I want to sleep with her". It's just appreciation for the beauty of human kind.
ReplyDelete