Shit People Say to Gay Men

What do you think of when your heat the words, "gay man"? I'm going to guess that you thought of a guy who is very feminine, hangs out with women all the time, and has good fashion sense. Was I spot on? That's the common "gay man" stereotype. In reality, not all gay men are like that. But, a lot of people want to fit others into the molds they've created. Here are a few comments people make to gay men.

"You don't look gay.": There's a look? Am I missing something? If there is, my gay friends have been getting this wrong all their lives. There is no "look" that gay men have. I don't think people can look like a sexual orientation. Just because he's not wearing pink all the time or saying "OMG I love those shoes!" every five seconds doesn't mean he's not gay. He just doesn't fit the stereotype.

"Do you want to be a woman or something?": That would be a big, fat, "no". If gay men wanted to be women, they would identify as transgender. There is a HUGE difference between the two! You don't need to be gay to be trans* and vice versa. Can we please separate these two ideas?

"You need to be with a woman. Then you'll reconsider." I'm pretty sure that if someone wanted to be with a woman, they would. Maybe the people making these comments should sleep with someone of the same sex. Maybe then they'll reconsider.

"Gay men hate women.": I think, judging from the gay man stereotypes, that that's not at all the case. Gay men don't hate women. Just because someone isn't attracted to a gender doesn't mean that the person hates that gender. I'm attracted to men, but not women. That doesn't mean that I hate women. I just would rather not climb into bed with a female.

I hope you guys like the series I'm working on called "Shit People Say: A Series". If you want to read more posts from the series, you can find a link to the series at the top of the home page. As always, if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions leave them in the comments section below. I love the feedback I've been getting from you guys, even the negative stuff. Hey, you know you're getting good when people start telling you to shut up. But believe me, I'm not going to keep quiet. Not anymore.

Lots of love,
Nick

P.S. One of my friends asked me to add this image to the blog. I thought this would be a good place to put it.